Monthly Archives: November 2023

Neverending Thanx…

Posted on by under Generic Rant

Once more reviving my old “Thanx” posts. (See here for a full description of the genre.) Making a Thanksgiving post once a year on the eve of the holiday is wildly inadequate. As a friend recently told me, it should be thanksliving. He’s right. G. K. Chesterton was on target when he said,

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

In that spirit, I offer this woefully skimpy inventory, from the sublime to the ridiculous to the ridiculously sublime:

  1. God (Good start, huh?)
  2. My extended family (most of whom will be together on Thanksgiving)
  3. Eight years with St. Matthew
  4. Small and large groups
  5. Jigsaw puzzles
  6. Bucket list bike trips
  7. One good leg
  8. Unexpected encounters, calls, and visitors
  9. Grace
  10. Learning lessons, even the hard ones
  11. New City Microcreamery
  12. Isaiah predicting today’s news
  13. MS Cure is back in business!
  14. Burger Night at State Road
  15. Sitting on the beach in mid-November
  16. Ari’s grotto
  17. The trapeze and fear of transformation
  18. Ground Round Reunion
  19. Uncle Beef
  20. Nashoba Brook Bakery
  21. The Sheriff’s Meadow
  22. The blessing of generosity, no matter which end of it I’m on
  23. Lessons and Carols and Jenna
  24. Rosewater chicken sandwich and lemon pound cake
  25. Accessible vans
  26. Lexie’s Lemonade
  27. 45.5 years
  28. “The Quiet Girl”
  29. Answering the call
  30. Memory so bad that rereading books is a pleasure
  31. etc. etc. etc. …

Look, I know the great majority of these are obscure beyond reason, but they’re understood by the bless-ee and the bless-er and that’s all that really counts.

I wish you and yours a happy and grateful Thanksgiving!

Speaking of Speaker…

Posted on by under Generic Rant, Original writing

Many people were relieved when the House of Representatives finally selected a Speaker of the House. I, for one, was not. Writing about this could sound as if I’m boasting, but it’s my duty as an American citizen to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… as I see it… which could mean anything in this culture. And the truth is…

I was fourth in line after “Mike Johnson” (yeah, like that’s his real name) to be nominated as Speaker.

Yes, it’s true. The Republicans were working down a list according to qualifications. After McCarthy, Scalise, Jordan, Emmer, Bergman, Hern, and a swarm of other no-names who either couldn’t get the votes or dropped out (because they couldn’t get the votes), “Mr. Johnson” was elected before the next names on the list were revealed.

Now it can be told.

After “Johnson”, Attila the Hun’s name was to be put on on the table. Sadly, even though he had secured the votes to be elected, someone had the audacity to point out that Mr. Hun had been dead for 1570 years. He lost six votes after that fact was revealed, which was enough to put his election into question. This came as a major disappointment to Republican presidential favorite Donald the Hun.

Another Trump preference was the next candidate on the roster. Milburn Pennybags, a.k.a. “Rich Uncle” Pennybags, mascot of the popular Parker Brothers board game, Monopoly. He has a few key character traits in common with the presumptive Republican nominee: First, he’s two-dimensional, possibly one dimension more than Mr. Trump. Second, he appears to be rich but his money isn’t real. Finally, he never shows up on the “Pay Income Tax” space.

The final name on the list before me was Bozo the Clown. He was never a serious consideration because Mr. Trump rejected him on two counts: (1) He’s afraid of clowns and (2) Bozo is considered too much of an intellectual (“a egghead”, as Mr. Trump puts it) who wouldn’t appeal to mainstream Republican House members.

That would have brought me to the front of the line. The fact that no one knows who I am certainly worked in my favor. It’s not clear whether I would have been able to muster the votes to be elected but I’d give it my all, which is all a guy can do.

If, Heaven forbid, I failed to be elected, a small selection of the many names that would have come after me were Captain America, Gumby, Taylor Swift, the World’s Largest Ball of Twine, Popeye the Sailor Man–never underestimate the draw of a man in uniform–and Goofy… or was that Dopey… or “Mike Johnson”? Six of one…

Partial Photo Backlog Dump

Posted on by under photos

The ideas for this blog have been piling up, but so have the weird photos I’ve been sitting on. And there are more just about every week. Let’s throw a few out into an unsuspecting world before they get too stale.

From the people who brought us the ever-so-tasteless “FU” ad campaign comes this bit of stupidity. They’re “Flamin’ Hot” but they’re Cool Ranch. Only in the Frito-Lay universe is that possible.

So much better was this much needed encouragement received at a local self-serve gas station:

It’s nice to know someone believes in me.

Covid-19 is over but as this photo, taken recently inside a porta-potty (yeah, I’m that desperate for material) indicates, the paranoia and madness remain.

Lock it up! Lock it up!

Is this a big enough problem–people putting their bikes on top of this fence–that they need a special sign for it? On the other hand…

…this sign is clearly needed, especially for whoever put the sign on the piano.

And last, but not by any stretch of an already stretched-to-the-breaking-point imagination least, this alarming picture-within-a-picture from the what-the-heck-were-they-thinking department:

I don’t even know where to begin with this disturbing picture, obviously the product of a seriously deranged mind. It has given me nightmares since I first saw it. Now it’s your problem. Good luck.