Spoiler Alert! (Not!)

Posted on December 27, 2023 by rickconti under blog snax, Movies

A BlogSnax© post

People watch a lot of Hallmark Christmas romance movies this time of year. I’ve heard that they created 41 “new” ones this year alone. The word “new” is qualified here because none of them are really new. Even the people who watch them (people like me, I confess) will admit that they only have three plots—the undercover royalty, the big city business person who rekindles an old flame in her small hometown while trying to put a local institution out of business, and the person posing as a fiancé[e]/girlfriend/boyfriend to fool the family—with a rotating ensemble of about six actors who do nothing else. (I’m looking at you, Danica McKellar!)

So how come when you read people’s reviews of these dogs on IMDb, they sometimes say “spoiler alert”? News flash, folks: There’s nothing to spoil!! A spoiler alert for one of these holiday train wrecks is as useful as a spoiler alert for Scooby Doo—Hey, it’s not a real monster. It’s a guy dressed up as a monster! Or Gilligan’s island—No, they don’t get off the island. Gilligan screws up again and they remain stranded on their three-hour cruise for which they packed three years worth of clothing and supplies.

Just had to get that off my chest before the new year.

Big Pharma Hits the Wall

Posted on December 19, 2023 by rickconti under Original writing

Press Release

For Immediate Release

Cambridge, MA, December 19, 2023 — Biozyme Corporation®, a global provider of innovative pharmaceutical solutions, announced today that it has run out of letter combinations for all future drugs, including those under development. “With the release of our new cutting edge SBS (shy bladder syndrome) medication, Ininossssdzz©®, we have exhausted all reasonable length permutations of the 26 letter English alphabet,” said Bryce Fiasco, Chief Appellation Officer for Biozyme©®℗. “We need to start exploring entirely new character sets.” The CAO adds, “Biozyme©®℗Ø is not facing this dilemma alone. The entire industry has depleted all combinations of characters 12 letters or less.”

Biozyme©®℗Ø֍ was not forthcoming with any details regarding their plans going forward. Rumor has it they will be utilizing numbers, non-English alphabets, heiroglyphics, emojis, animal noises, as well as tones picked up by radio telescopes aimed into deep space.

“At Biozyme©®℗Ø֍♂, our core competency has always been innovation and we’re very excited to move ahead into previously uncharted sobriquet territory. No longer will we be restricted by the arbitrary limitations of an archaic collection of characters.” It is expected that the first drug employing the new naming paradigm will be Biozyme’s©®℗Ø֍♂☺groundbreaking treatment for the relief of side effects of their drug used to lessen negative reactions to its medication to treat hangnails caused by the use of their mRNA dandruff therapy.

“We’re sure that the consumers of our products will be quite comfortable with the new drug names,” said Chief Rationalization Officer Hymie Slamm. “After all, none of our current offerings are pronounceable by humans.”