The US is suddenly very bad at a lot of good things: caring for the unfortunate, uplifting the oppressed, promoting a healthy environment, and protecting future generations, for instance. We’re making up for that by being really good at bad things: terrorizing minorities, killing innocent civilians, and invading friendly countries come immediately to mind but there are loads of others.

One more example of the latter occurred to me of late, reinforced by the commercials that have bombarded my senses as I watched football playoff games. It appears as if we are world leaders at manufacturing gamblers.

It used to be that, if you wanted to gamble, you went to Las Vegas (a.k.a. Lost Wages) and blew the nest egg. Other alternatives were the dog and horse tracks, for those drawn to such diversions. For the truly desperate, there has always been the option of tracking down some lowlife bookie and throwing away money at him. (Not to be sexist, but were there female bookies?)

Over time, short-sighted local governments got into the game with lotteries, i.e. voluntary taxes on people who are bad at math. All the aforementioned activities catered to a limited population or at least were small potatoes, it seems to me.

Things have changed.

You can literally gamble anywhere, anytime, if you have a phone and a connection to the Internet. It’s safe to assume that’s pretty much everyone in the US. If the proliferation of sports gambling commercials is any indication, all sports above youth level exist for the sole purpose of gambling, while sports “news” is all about odds, overs and unders, and other such profligate falderal.

For football, you have the ability to not only bet on game outcomes but countless other possibilities. Who will win MVP? Who will kick the first field goal? What color Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach? (Seriously, that’s a thing!) I can only assume the same goes for baseball. Will the next pitch be a strike? How many innings will the starting pitcher go? What will be the “launch angle” of the next home run? With baseball, the number of trivial stats and possibilities is virtually endless. Any baseball fan knows that. A veritable gambler’s gold mine, paying off almost solely to “the house”, whoever that might be.

Punch in, folks! They aren’t paying for all these big names and expensive advertising minutes on money they’re giving away. They’re getting it from suckers who think they’re going to win in spite of the fact that the odds are stacked heavily against them. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: “Someone has to win. It just won’t be you.”

My point is that there were only so many outlets for gambling back in the day. Today, there are more than anyone could count. Plus, it’s encouraged by the new bookies: everyone from your governor to your favorite entertainers, be they artists or athletes. To keep that voracious beast fed requires churning out new gamblers. They have to come from somewhere and they don’t grow on trees. We’re manufacturing them. It’s likely they were gamblers all along but didn’t partake, not unlike an alcoholic who doesn’t drink. ‘Cept these folks have fallen, or perhaps been thrown, off the wagon. To quote another wise man, “If you think you may have a gambling problem, stop thinking.”

That’s bad.

And America is good at it.

Are we great yet?