Tag Archives: beach

Signs, signs, everywhere signs…

Posted on by under photos

Last time it was a “thot dump”; today it’s a photo dump. (I suppose I should call this a “foto dump” to be consistent with my previous lazy Madison Ave. spelling style.) As with my post ideas, which occasionally back up like a bad plumbing job, my photo bin overfloweth. This will clean out a bunch of the backlog, but without the nasty sewage odor.

The topic today, as evidenced by the post title*, is “signs”. These are signs I’ve seen over time that have caught my attention as interesting for various unrelated reasons. Maybe it’s just me. You be the judge.

I’ve never seen such a blatant disregard for beach hygiene! We all know it’s gonna happen, but why encourage it?
I’m not a beer drinker but even I can appreciate this little bit of restaurant humor.
It’s hard to read with the reflection where it is, but right above the message to “come on in”, there’s a sign saying the place is closed. An invitation to thieves, perhaps?
Sure, but I bet they won’t tell me which I am!
I’ve seen a lot of motorcycles on the road and this blanket statement is patently untrue of many.
The worst of both worlds in this post-Covid work environment. You have to drive to work, but you can’t get out of your car. Or maybe they want you to sit in the empty space.
All your flooring needs maybe, but don’t count on any spelling help. Last I checked, “carpet” and “care” start with the same letter anyway. Why this nonsense?
This is just plain cruel. The fish are in the water, for Pete’s sake, but you aren’t allowed anywhere near it! I suppose if you had long enough fishing line…

* For the non-Boomers in the crowd, this is a reference to an absolutely fantastic song from 1971 by a sadly underappreciated Canadian group, The Five Man Electrical Band. Then again, maybe latter day musical aficionados will recognize it. Not long ago, I saw a photo of yet another sign saying “Hiring is so bad, long haired freaky people are encouraged to apply.” Gotta love that!

Of watermelons and books

Posted on by under Books

watermelon&books

In the middle of his tea party, the Mad Hatter asks Alice a riddle:

Why is a raven like a writing-desk?

When Alice gives up trying to figure out the answer, she asks the Hatter, who says:

I haven’t the slightest idea.

I’ll do Mr. Carroll and his Hatter one better. Here’s a riddle, the answer to which I not only know, but will divulge (spoiler alert) in this post.

Why is a watermelon like a book?

First, confession time: This isn’t a true riddle, although what constitutes a true riddle (if that isn’t an oxymoron) isn’t 100% clear to me.

You see, I was cutting up and eating a watermelon today (I can never do the former without indulging in the latter) when it occurred to me that there are striking parallels between these two things that are, on the surface, quite different. Here’s my (probably partial) list of similarities:

  1. I love both of these items. I couldn’t imagine life without either one.
  2. Both are often consumed voraciously. I treat a book in the same way as I do the melon. At first I savor every bite/page, but as I approach the end, I down those chunks/pages as if they might disappear before I finish them.
  3. Both have seeds. In the case of the fruit, literal ones. (Yeah, even the “seedless” ones.) With books, they’re seeds of inspiration.
  4. Either one makes a great beach companion on a hot summer day.
  5. You can’t judge either by its cover. Believe me, in the case of watermelons, I’ve tried to figure out how to identify a quality melon by inspecting, tapping, or shaking it. I still end up with clunkers. Which brings me to the next thought:
  6. There are good ones and there are bad ones. Far fewer watermelons could be described as “bad” but I’ve had a few. Books, while I haven’t read them all, probably have more bad than good, especially in this day of self-publishing.
  7. You can grow your own. It’ll be a crap shoot quality-wise, but with time, effort, and enough fertilizer (make of that what you will) you can have yourself one sweet fruit of your labors.

Mind you, there are also major differences between watermelons and books which are hard to ignore.

  1. With few exception, watermelons are much bigger than books. They can be downright unwieldy.
  2. If watermelon juice drips, it becomes very sticky. I honestly can’t think of a book about which I could say the same thing.
  3. No one has yet been able to perfect the eMelon. I pray it never happens.

That’s about all I can think of at the moment. I’m open to your ideas.

Meanwhile, I’m going to grab a book and some watermelon.